The Power of Identification!!

The main reason I am alive today, sober and have recovered from a seemingly hopeless condition of alcoholism is simple!

Or rather the first step can be simple.

The first step on my recovery journey was to identify with the life stories of other recovering alcoholics.

Not necessarily with where they grew up, or the damage alcoholism had inflicted on their lives. Although many alcoholics talk themselves, or their illness talks them, out of the possibility of recovery by saying I am not as bad as that guy, or that woman.

You may not be as bad “YET!” – the “yets” are often talked about in AA – you may not have done the damage others have, yet? Keep drinking and you are bound to. You, like them, will have no choice.

Alcoholism increasingly takes away choice.

It takes over your self will.

Your self will, your self regulation, is a combination of your emotional, attentional, memory and reward/survival/motivation networks.

Alcoholism takes over these networks, progressively, over time.

Neuroscience has shown this, over the last twenty odd years.

A superb longitudinal study, “The Natural History of Alcoholism” by George Vaillant  clearly showed this progression in six hundred alcoholics over a 60 year period!

In my own research and in articles, with two highly respected Professors at a UK University, I have shown how the alcoholic brain progressively “collapses inwards” to subcortical responding.

In other words, we end up with a near constant “fight or flight” reaction to the world,  with alcoholism causing distress based compulsion at the endpoint of this addiction.

All the above neural circuits become governed by a region of the brain which deals with automatic,  compulsive behaviour. All the self regulation parts of the brain progress to an automatic compulsive behaviour called alcoholism and we are then often without mental defence against the next drink!

I identified with this one simple fact – the progression of this neurobiological, emotional, and spiritual disease state called alcoholism. I saw it in my own life, this progression over years of drinking.

The “invisible line” that is crossed, according to AA members, can be viewed on a brain image, I believe.

Can you see it in your life?

Like these recovering alcoholics I had not taken my first drink hoping to end up an alcoholic

It was something that had happened to me,  happened despite my very strong will not because my will is weak. I am as wilful a person as you would hope to me. How come I became an alcoholic then?

I did also relate to other things these people shared.

I identified with the damage caused by alcoholism  in their lives and the lives of their family.  How this illness affects everyone in the immediate and even extended family.

I had never considered the effect on others, apart from me?

I listened and identified with how they talked about a “hole in the soul”, how they never felt part of, felt different from others, detached. I related to this. That was me too.

Alcohol made me feel more me! I became attached to it and grew to love it like someone would love another person, more so perhaps? Alcohol came first, loved ones second.

Alcoholism takes away all the good things in life and then your life too.

All of this was the case with me too.

I identified with all this.

I identified too with their solution.

I identified with and wanted what these now happy people in recovery had.

I decided to take the same steps as they had towards this happiness.

There is a solution.

We do recover!

Self Diagnosing Alcoholism

For those reading who feel they may a problem with alcoholism I will attempt to help you self diagnose.

I personally came into recovery via AA after my local doctor/GP, stated quite unequivocally that he thought I was an alcoholic. I was with my wife at the time.  The scales fell from our respective eyes.

Oh that’s it!? It wasn’t my troubled childhood, the premature death of my parents, my various difficulties with anxiety, depression, panic attacks, etc etc. It was because I was an alcoholic!

I have no doubt that the above factors contributed to the severity of my alcoholism but the other psychiatric issues I now consider to have been substance induced disorders which have either dissipated in recovery or have been treated in some way by a 12 step recovery?

Regardless of GP’s diagnosis of alcoholism I still need to self diagnosis.  I could not recover from alcoholism based on someone else’s diagnosis, however helpful. I had to identify myself as an alcoholic. Acceptance of this condition was the first step in recovery for me and countless others.

In the early days acceptance is based on acceptance of a destructive relationship with alcohol.

How do we define this relationship, this alcoholism?

There are various definitions of alcoholism mainly centring on  continued use of alcohol despite negative consequences. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymmous (1) simply states  “If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic.  “.

This useful useful article (2) discusses the “loss of control over drinking” concept, which academic studies have failed to prove or disprove in laboratory settings.

I believe this loss of control can occur spontaneously or over several drinking episodes. It is not an all or nothing phenomenon like the “allergy” concept of the Doctor’s Opinion in the Big Book. It is variable.

The return to uncontrolled drinking can take one drinking session for some or a number of drinking sessions for others.

“The loss-of-control phenomenon is the essence of any addiction and certainly of AD.

This refers to the inability of the AD person to predict with any degree of certainty how much he or she will imbibe from one drinking episode to the next.

Clinically, once the drinking episode starts, the AD person will be unable to stop in the middle of the episode without a very great struggle. Useful questions at interview include asking 1) whether patients feel compelled to continue drinking or find it very hard to stop drinking; 2) once they start, whether they find themselves drinking more than they wanted to or had planned to; and 3) whether they make rules to attempt to control their drinking through external means.

It is important to distinguish the loss-of-control phenomenon from craving. The former has to do with the inability to stop drinking once started.

The loss-of-control phenomenon occurs within a drinking episode. Forms of craving occur between drinking episodes. The loss-of-control phenomenon continues to be a scientific puzzle.

Despite ongoing research inquiry over many years, neuroscience has yet to define the CNS changes underlying the loss-of-control phenomenon that characterizes dependence.

Clinically, however, longitudinal studies of abstinence make it clear that once the control of drinking behavior departs, it does not return in most cases (3).

It cannot be relearned or reconstituted. In this sense, a diagnosis of dependence signals a permanent condition—including a permanent risk of uncontrolled drinking. “

 

 

  1. Alcoholics Anonymous. (2001). Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition. New York: A.A. World Services.
  2. Beresford, T. P. (2007). What is addiction, what is alcoholism?. Liver Transplantation13(S2), S55-S58.
  3. Vaillant GE. The Natural History of Alcoholism, Revisited. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press; 1995.