Glad to see other people have the same markings on their Big Book too! I have the same fluorescent yellow marker pen scrolls and deep pen lines across the page and under the words.
I was so desperate not to let a word go by, and to understand everything the Big Book of AA has to teach about alcoholism and the solution to it that I tied my developing understanding to the pages with yellow and black ink lines. Often returning to also add these #s and to note well, NB!
Every time I read it I got new understanding. The longer I have gone on in recovery the more I have seen and understood.
Reading the BB over the years help me see how my brain is recovering as I see things more clearly with every passing years. It reminds me of previous times when I have read it, gives me a memory snapshot of where I was at in previous periods of recovery. What I used to think and feel compared to what i think and feel now. What I agreed with then and what I disagree with now.
How I have healed.
It is strange how I see other things, not underlined, as gaining more in importance as recovery goes on.
This excerpt above is from a “share” or a personal story at the back of the Big Book. The story is known by two names, “Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict” or “Acceptance was the Answer” depending on which edition you bought.
It is referred to so often in meetings that it is almost a supplement to the first 164 pages. It has common sense words of wisdom which can greatly help with your recovery – I keep returning to it over and over again.
Here is a link to it, have a read and hopefully it will help you in the same profound way it helped me and millions of others!
It is the last story in this section – http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_personalstories_partII.pdf
Here he is speaking at an AA convention. I have found these “shares” crucial to my own recovery in terms of identifying with other other recovering alcoholics.
It is in listening to their shares that I could see that I am like these people and they act in a way I do, feel in a way I do, think and make decisions in a way I do and even have had experiences throughout their lives and drinking careers which are also so like mine so I guess I figured that I must be a sort of alcoholic like all these people.
Maybe I was an alcoholic too!?
The journey in recovery often starts with identifying with others, their problems and how they have solved their problems.
I hope it does for you too!
My very first meeting I identified with the AAs talking about how difficult they found living life on life’s terms, their emotional disease etc. It was this that convinced me I was like them. Not the drinking or drugging, but the internal spiritual malady, the ISM that goes with the alcohol to create alcoholism.
Identifying with others like me, saved my life and is the reason I have been recovery ten years.
You are not alone.